LGBTQ Treatment In The World

While LGBTQ right have made considerable progress in some parts of the world, a surprising number of countries still punish same-sex relationships with life in prison or even death.

In 2015, the United States Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage bans are unconstitutional and the Republic of Ireland became the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage by popular vote following a countrywide referendum. While stigma against LGBT communities is certainly lessening in some countries, many continue to criminalize same-sex sexual contact.

New research published by International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association (ILGA) serves as a stark reminder of just how widespread criminalization can be. In a total of 74 countries, same-sex contact is a criminal. In 13 countries, being gay or bisexual is punishable by death. These are; Sudan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Mauritania, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Qatar, UAE, parts of Nigeria, parts of Somalia, parts of Syria and parts of Iraq.

17 countries bans are in place to prohibit “propaganda” interpreted as promoting LGBTQ communities or identities. These are; Algeria, Egypt, Libya, Morocco, Nigeria, Somalia, Tunisia, Iraq, Iran, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Lithuania and Russia.

Surprisingly, a total of 40 countries retain a “gay panic” clause which enables people to use as a defense for committing crimes such as assault or murder that they were provoked because the person was gay, lesbian or bisexual. It is believed transphobic laws and attitudes are also very common as part of persecution specifically targeted at transgender communities.

Lesbian and bisexual women often experience persecution for their sexual orientation. ‘Corrective rape’ and forced marriages are common in some countries on the basis that this can ‘cure’ them.

In 17 countries, bans are in place to prohibit ‘propaganda’ interpreted as promoting LBGTQ communities or identities. These are; Algeria, Egypt, Libya Morocco, Nigeria, Somalia, Tunisia, Iraq, Iran, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Lithuania and Russia.

My Friends’ Wedding

Several weeks ago, because of action not taken by the United States Supreme Court, a number of states made it legal for gays and lesbians to get married. One of the states is where I live, Colorado.

I have been friends with Jan and Joan for 30 years. They have been together as a couple for almost 38 years. They are quite dear to me and even when I moved back East for 20 plus years, their friendship remained vital and fulfilling. I have always known them as a couple and over the years developed an additional relationship with each of them, which only made them as a couple richer for me.

Last year, the State of Colorado granted same-sex couples the right to get civil unions. At that time, Jan and Joan went through that process. When Colorado settled into what looked to be a permanent decision about offering same-sex marriages Jan and Joan did a lot of soul searching about whether or not to go for it.

Some of the issues of financial security and those kinds of legalities seemed important in that marriage could offer protection and therefore be a good reason to get married. One of these women was profoundly unprotected as the law goes. That was definitely a strong consideration.

Philosophically there were a lot of issues that came up. Marriage has long been considered an institution dominated by men. We still do not have all the rights men do. So, given the nature of marriage, it brought pause when considering the politics of lesbians entering into such a patriarchal agreement.

Joan, who works with taxes in her career, was ready to get married. Jan went back and forth. The deciding factor that finally convinced Jan was the realization that she could get another ring. It is difficult to know what exactly will push a person one way or another in something as important as this decision. Since the real, spiritual and personal reasons for being together had been proven over the last thirty-eight years--getting married brought of different issues and challenges for them than couples who are just entering into their lives together.

I was invited to go to the County Clerk’s Office to be a witness. When I got to their home they were dressed up and nervous. They had already exchanged their vows and exchanged rings. They had carefully selected something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. They were so cute! Here are these young 60 something year old dykes going to get married. Wow!!!!!!!!!!

When we got to the County Clerk’s Office we got number 21 and sat waiting while people ahead of us got license plates and such. The line went quickly and then it was our turn. The woman at the window was the same one who had done Jan and Joan’s civil union. That was the first one of those she had done and this was her first same-sex marriage license. There were a lot of laughs as well as some not so supportive looks from those whose numbers hadn’t yet been called. We were completely giddy and delighted.

I reflected on the way home how sweet Jan and Joan’s love for one another expressed itself during that public procedure at the government building. Thirty-eight years is a long time to be together for a lesbian couple. We have not had the structure or permanence of marriage to foster commitment. Those of us who have found the fortitude and are fortunate enough to work through all the issues relationships challenge us with are great models for the entire community. I am honored to have Jan and Joan as mentors, to be a witness to their love and life together.