On October 12, 1998, Matthew Shepard, a student at the University of Wyoming, died after being brutally attacked in what was reported by news media as a hate crime because of his homosexuality. His friends and family described him as a friendly and outgoing young man who had great passion for equality. He was someone who always stood up for the acceptance of peoples’ differences.
Ellen DeGeneres, a courageous lesbian who is highly visible and loved by many in our society, hosted his memorial service in Washington, D.C. There was an enormous outpouring of public outrage both nationally and around the world at this hideous tragedy. The event challenged millions of people to stop and think about hate crimes in all its forms. Matthew’s torturous death changed the way we think about, talk about, and deal with hate and judgment. The incident continues to have a strong influence on our awareness and growing consciousness.
Throughout recorded History, homosexual activity has been repressed by certain governing groups and members of society under punishment of torture, mutilation, death and social ostracism. Laws to this effect were in force in Europe from the fifth to the twentieth centuries, and is still practiced in Muslim countries today. Homosexuals were killed in staggering numbers during the Holocaust by the Nazi Germans. Between 1996-2001 the Taliban in Afghanistan eliminated homosexuals. Countries where homosexuality is still punishable by death in present-day include Iran, Mauritania, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, United Arab Emirates, and Yemen.
It is no wonder than so many gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender people have hidden their identity and found safety by "passing" or staying “in the closet”. In recent years large numbers of GLBTs have become part of a movement that has created more visibility, unity and solidarity and has begun to normalize different domestic choices in society. It is no surprise that Matthew, growing up as this movement was gaining momentum, felt he could publicly be who he was.
Violence against LGBT people can include threats, physical and/or sexual assault, rape, torture, attempted murder and murder. These actions come from cultural, religious, or political mores and biases. LGBT attracts hate and hate crimes by individuals or groups, or from government enforcement of laws targeting people who are perceived to be violating heterosexual rules and collective protocols of gender roles. Equating same-sex relationships with sex kindles these presumptionally myopic opinions.
Wikipedia states that in the United States, the FBI reported that 15.6% of hate crimes reported to police in 2004 were founded on perceived sexual orientation. 61% of these attacks were against gay men, 14% against lesbians, 2% against heterosexuals and 1% against bisexuals, while attacks against GLBT people at large made up 20%.
Matthew’s suffering was undeniably the brutal victimization of an innocent human being. One of the things Matthew’s death did to challenge public awareness about hate, judgment and issues of diversity was to bring to the forefront moral questions about the meaning of equality and human rights.
The GLBT Movement has made headway in recent years in some states addressing the human rights of those who live a same-sex lifestyle or identify themselves as GLBT. The power from the Gay Movement has forced society to address their resistance to giving equal rights to all people. It has created heated and rousing conversations that has resulted in a small smattering of acceptance and a lot more awareness. The resistance has exposed the hatred that exists toward anyone different from the privileged, close-minded few who believe the illusion that their opinions define and control society. It has publicly exposed their attitudes and disregard for the existence and acceptance of all people.
The resistance against gays is personal, political and has its foundation largely in religious beliefs. The current gay issues have pressured churches with questions like denying gay clergy to serve as leaders. The polarity created by gay issues has been so severe in many denominations that it has actually split large congregations. Churches have struggled to figure out what to do with gay parishioners. Some have rejected and alienated them from practicing their faith. This has been a hypocritical and embarrassing exposure of their lack of inclusion and judgment upon which their entire doctrine is professed to be built.
Both church and state are in a struggle against the gay movement. As we gather strength in numbers, have and adopt children, occupy positions in politics and places of leadership in religion, and occupy a stance that we are not going away and deserve to be treated equally and fairly, the issues are heating up. It is the Gay Movement's time to push forward with determination and persistence for our rights. The Gay Movement is following in the footsteps of the Civil Rights Movement and the Women's Movement when they fought and won their rights to be treated as human beings.
Matthew’s murder has brought national attention to the issue of hate legislation at state and national levels. On March 20,2007 The Matthew Shepard Act was introduced as federal bipartisan legislation in the United States Senate. Its purpose was to extend hate crimes to include gay and lesbian individuals, women, and people with disabilities. The bill passed the House of Representatives on May 3rd, 2007. Similar legislation is expected to pass in the Senate. President Bush has indicated, however, that he may veto the legislation if it reaches his desk.
I had the privilege of hearing Matthew Shepard’s mother speak on a university women’s studies circuit not long after he was murdered. I was surprised to find the theatre packed with people who had come to hear her. She spoke softly, yet deliberately. I was struck with her candidness, her authenticity, and her wisdom. It was clear that she was committed to using the untimely loss of her son to make a difference in the world.
She began by sharing with us the letter she had read to the jury before the two young men who tortured her son were sentenced for Matthew’s murder. The letter’s intent was to present Matthew as a person who was deeply loved by his parents, his brother, other relatives, countless friends and his community. It mentioned the dreams he had for his life, his thoughtfulness and kindness, his passion to live life fully. The letter addressed her loss as his mother, and how this loss had transformed everything in her life.
Then she talked with moving compassion about the families of the two young abusers, whose lives were also devastated by their children’s actions. With much soul searching, Judy Shepard and her husband had chosen not to hate the men who had murdered their son. They had come to the conclusion that if they hated these men, the hatred would perpetuate their grieving and produce the very same caustic attitude that had fueled the young men’s conduct. Then they would be filled with hate and victimizers too. Their courageous and inspirationaly loving stance on this influenced the judge's decision. He spared the men from being sentenced to the death penalty. They were sentenced instead to life imprisonment.
Following the letter, she continued her talk by sharing stories of Matthew’s “coming out.” Though her stories were filled with warmth and humor, her message was strong: Everyone must exercise their right to be who they are. We can’t expect people to accept us if we are ashamed to show who we are. This is the only way things will change. It is dangerous to continue to hide.
She challenged society’s part in creating a culture and climate that could allow such hate crimes. She reminded us that we, as Americans, were all victims of the hate crime known as 9/11. She emphasized that those who understand the destruction that can come from hating others must come forward and show all those who are stuck in fear-based thinking that it is NOT acceptable to hate.
Judy Shepard’s message challenged the current attitude, which she described as the "old way of thinking". Experiencing her high level of love and genuine acceptance, I could sense she was helping those of us in the audience see the world in a new way. She spoke of the transformative power that could be brought to the world if hating others was eliminated.
She posed the question of what might happen if every person felt free enough to be all they could be. She pondered about what would happen if we stopped projecting our fears onto women, the poor, gays, and people of color, different religions, and other countries. She challenged us to consider owning our part in creating human suffering. She wondered if owning our own hatred and replacing it with acceptance and love, would change the world to a place of global unity, care, support and peace.
She went on to say that each time we judge someone who is different from us and treat them with hatred, we add to the collective darkness. Every time we do not allow ourselves to be who we are, we push our light into the shadows and give power to the collective darkness.
Judy Shepard’s commitment to educate people through her speaking engagements promotes a greater understanding of gay issues, diversity, and hateful crimes of violence. She is an inspiring woman who is fully living who she is and courageously standing up to speak her truth. Her presence goes far beyond her words in delivering an enormously empowering, light-bearing message.
Judy Shepard set up the Matthew Shepard Foundation. I highly recommend you view it. The web page exudes love, inspiration, compassion and hope. It deserves to be read and shared with others. It is uplifting to see all the positive things they are doing to promote awareness about the issues of the oppression of homosexuals and hate crimes that Matthew’s death brought to the attention of the world.
In remembering Matthew Shepard, it is imperative that we do not forget the valuable awakening his life and death has given us. We need to acknowledge the awareness his suffering brought to everyone in the world. We must not be complacent about giving people of diversity the same rights as every other human being.
Many people have been inspired by the issues provoked by Matthew's murder. They have found ways to honor and express their feelings through art, songs, writing, plays and movies. Three movies: The Laramie Project (based on a play by the same name), The Matthew Shepard Story, and Anatomy of a Hate Crime and countless other creative projects have given us a wealth of material to help us remember what we must not forget.
Our challenge is to live in a way that respects and does not harm others. Each one of us needs to honestly examine any beliefs we have that might interfere with our living from a place of compassion and caring for all life. This can begin to change the current and prevalent acceptance of violence. We must start with understanding and expressing this within ourselves before it can move through the family, our nation and the world. Each of us has the capacity and responsibility to live and share in compassionate nonviolence.
We need to develop a more expansive perspective of looking at things from other's points of view. What would it take to understand that we are all part of the same world? Just as in a family, when one person or group of people is suffering, they are merely revealing and expressing what is not working in the entire situation. The problem is systemic and everyone has a part in its breaking down. When something as important as human rights is so unfair and damaged in society, we each need to do our part to address the problem and find a solution. Each of us is part of the whole. By respecting each other we could live peacefully in the Oneness of shared humanity.
The bottom line for everyone when it comes to violence, hatred, hate crimes, and judgment of diversity is that we are all human. Every person on this planet has the potential and capability to occupy that truth and not harm others with our thoughts or actions. Then we can evolve toward an accepting world.
When we feel judgment and hatred, it is our opportunity to look deeply and honestly within ourselves for the source of the intolerance. Progress starts with each one of us. Hatred and all it destroys can only change when we love life and everyone who is different from us with an open heart. Then Matthew’s death will not have been in vain.
