Breaking Up A Relationship

If a relationship is unhealthy and you need to go separate ways, it is important to know how to go about dissolving it while maintaining integrity and honoring yourself and the other woman. That being said, this will not be easy. Keep in mind, though, that if the relationship is not good for you the most loving thing to do is to break it up.

The process requires special attention and time set aside especially for talking. A private place to talk is important because there will no doubt be strong feelings in the conversation. Setting things up with consciousness will give you a good foundation with which to start.

Honesty cannot be emphasized enough. Being honest doesn't mean bringing out a long laundry list of everything that has ever annoyed you in the entire time you've been together. Making it simple and really thinking ahead of time what is not okay for you will help you stay focused.

Being clear is of utmost importance. This will be most successful if you only use "I" statements. This will eliminate blame and keep your needs in the forefront.

Having 2 or 3 things that you have identified ahead of time as the reasons the relationship needs to end for you will be helpful. Then you can say, "our relationship is not good for me and needs to end because___________________.

You may have to come back to this statement many times throughout the conversation, but it will help you stay strong in your position if the other woman's emotions run high and she tries to get you to change your mind.

Before you talk, think about what kind of relationship you want with this person. Do you want to stay friends? Never speak to each other? Visualize the best outcome for you. Of course, the other woman may have different needs around this and that will ultimately dictate the outcome.

Remember, all you are doing is lovingly stating your needs. You may get very emotional, too, and that is when you can go back to your original statement. Breaking up is very difficult. Do not expect it to be easy. The only thing you can control is you and how maturely you approach and say what you truly have to say.