Sybil had had a normal pregnancy and was not considered high risk. On March 17th (at 8 1/2 months) she woke up ill. She was diagnosed with preeclampsia and when her blood pressure spiked, she had a stroke and went into a coma. Jack Chandler McFall was delivered successfully by cesarean section in the early afternoon and is doing well. Sybil went into a coma and never came out.
Making medical decisions for lesbian partners who do not have medical power of attorneys or living wills can be even more complicated. It is not uncommon to hear horror stories about family members who have come in when medical decisions need to be made and denying the partner of any input. Sometimes lesbian partners are not even allowed to visit their ailing or dying partners.
It can be difficult for people to think about dying and what one would want. That is probably why many people avoid doing it. We have to remember though, as lesbians, without proper legal protection, we are particularly vulnerable.
Pregnancy, going into surgery, and traveling can prompt people into thinking about getting their affairs in order. I urge everyone to not wait until it is too late to have these important conversations and take the appropriate measures to get a living will and medical power of attorney in place.
Sybil's death has prompted everyone in my family to get medical powers of attorney and living wills. When you come face to face with the worst case scenario it is no longer an abstract possibility that things will never happen. It is a raw reality that they can.
