Everyone knows the stereotype depicted in the joke, "What do lesbians do on their second date?"--"Rent a U-Hall". I have experienced and known many lesbians who have rushed into relationships.
The experience I have wanted to have, but hadn't in my lifetime with other lesbians is to be just friends. No emotional chaos. No co-dependency. No sex. No partnership. Simply friends.
Most of my life-time closest friends are straight. Their preference has undoubtedly helped me keep the boundaries of friendship secure and protected.
Is this delama manifested because lesbians have fuzzy boundaries? Is it too difficult for lesbians to be alone and not in a relationship? Is lesbian identity only validated by being "with" someone?
Last year I met a lesbian sister while out walking our dogs. She was traveling through Colorado and was considering moving here. Over the next month and a half she was visiting we because friends. When she left we stayed in contact by phone. In July this year she moved here.
Our friendship has grown because we spend a lot of time together doing things. We bike, go to TaiChi twice a week, have lunches, take great delight in going to the mountains. Monday this week we went on an all-day road trip through Rochy Mountain National Park.
There has never been any confusion in our friendship about what the relationship is and is not. There are no underlying agendas. There is no sexual tension. In the same way as my straight friends--we are friends.
I am grateful that I have a lesbian friend. It is nice to share that way of being in the world with someone close who is not in an intimate relationship with me. Being lesbians gives us a commonality that feels very comfortable.
I appreciate the absence of pressure I experience in this friendship. Without the tension that often exists between lesbians to make the relationship into something more, I feel a freedom that is quite satisfying.
It is a great growing experience for me to develop a solid friendship with another single lesbian. It is strengthening to my sense of myself. It is fun. I feel blessed.
The experience I have wanted to have, but hadn't in my lifetime with other lesbians is to be just friends. No emotional chaos. No co-dependency. No sex. No partnership. Simply friends.
Most of my life-time closest friends are straight. Their preference has undoubtedly helped me keep the boundaries of friendship secure and protected.
Is this delama manifested because lesbians have fuzzy boundaries? Is it too difficult for lesbians to be alone and not in a relationship? Is lesbian identity only validated by being "with" someone?
Last year I met a lesbian sister while out walking our dogs. She was traveling through Colorado and was considering moving here. Over the next month and a half she was visiting we because friends. When she left we stayed in contact by phone. In July this year she moved here.
Our friendship has grown because we spend a lot of time together doing things. We bike, go to TaiChi twice a week, have lunches, take great delight in going to the mountains. Monday this week we went on an all-day road trip through Rochy Mountain National Park.
There has never been any confusion in our friendship about what the relationship is and is not. There are no underlying agendas. There is no sexual tension. In the same way as my straight friends--we are friends.
I am grateful that I have a lesbian friend. It is nice to share that way of being in the world with someone close who is not in an intimate relationship with me. Being lesbians gives us a commonality that feels very comfortable.
I appreciate the absence of pressure I experience in this friendship. Without the tension that often exists between lesbians to make the relationship into something more, I feel a freedom that is quite satisfying.
It is a great growing experience for me to develop a solid friendship with another single lesbian. It is strengthening to my sense of myself. It is fun. I feel blessed.
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