A Tribute To Matthew Shepard

On October 12, 1998, Matthew Shepard, a student at the University of Wyoming, died after being brutally attacked in what was reported by news media as a hate crime because of his homosexuality. His friends and family described him as a friendly and outgoing young man who had great passion for equality. He was someone who always stood up for the acceptance

of peoples’ differences.

There was an enormous outpouring of public outrage both nationally and around the world at this hideous tragedy. Ellen DeGeneres, a courageous lesbian who is highly visible and loved by many in our society, hosted his memorial service in Washington, D.C. The incident challenged millions of people to stop and think about hate crimes in all its forms. Matthew’s torturous death changed the way we think about, talk about, and deal with hate and judgment. The incident continues to have a strong influence on our awareness and growing consciousness.

Throughout recorded History, homosexual activity has been repressed by certain governing groups and members of society under punishment of torture, mutilation, death and social ostracism. Laws to this effect were in force in Europe from the fifth to the twentieth centuries, and is still practiced in Muslim countries today. Homosexuals were killed in staggering numbers during the Holocaust by the Nazi Germans. Between 1996-2001 the Taliban in Afghanistan eliminated homosexuals. Countries where homosexuality is still punishable by death in present-day include Iran, Mauritania, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, United Arab Emirates, and Yemen.

It is no wonder than so many gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender people have hidden their identity and found safety “in the closet”. In recent years large numbers of GLBTs have become part of a movement that has created more visibility, unity and solidarity and has begun to normalize different domestic choices. It is no surprise that Matthew, growing up as this movement was gaining momentum, felt he could publicly be who he was.

Violence against LGBT people can include threats, physical and/or sexual assault, rape, torture, attempted murder and murder. These actions come from cultural, religious, or political mores and biases. LGBT attract hate and hate crimes by individuals or groups, or from government enforcement of laws targeting people who are perceived to violate heterosexual rules and collective protocols of gender roles. Equating same-sex relationships with sex kindles these myopic opinions.

Wikipedia states that in the United States, the FBI reported that 15.6% of hate crimes reported to police in 2004 were founded on perceived sexual orientation. 61% of these attacks were against gay men, 14% against lesbians, 2% against heterosexuals and 1% against bisexuals, while attacks against GLBT people at large made up 20%.

Matthew’s suffering was undeniably the brutal victimization of an innocent human being. One of the things Matthew’s death did to challenge pubic awareness about hate, judgment and issues of diversity was to bring to the forefront questions about the meaning of human rights.

The GLBT movement has made headway in recent years in some states addressing the human rights of those who live a same-sex lifestyle or identify themselves as GLBT. Considerable resistance has produced a heated and stimulating dialogue that has been met with a small smattering of acceptance. This resistance has exposed the hatred that exists toward anyone different from the privileged, close-minded few who believe the illusion that they define society. It has made them publicly admit their disregard for the existence and acceptance all people.

The resistance is personal, political and has its foundation largely defined by religious beliefs. The current gay issues have pressured churches with questions like denying gay clergy to serve as leaders. This has split congregations and caused them to break apart. Churches have struggled to figure out what to do with gay parishioners. Some have rejected and alienated them from practicing their faith. This has been a hypocritical and embarrassing exposure of their lack of inclusion and judgment that their entire doctrine is professed to be built upon.

So church and state are in a power struggle against the gay movement. As we gather strength in numbers, have and adopt children, occupy positions in politics and places of leadership in religion, the issues are heating up. We are living in a time with similar struggles that faced African Americans and Women when they fought for and won their rights as people who are human beings.

Matthew’s murder has brought national attention to the issue of hate legislation at state and national levels. On March 20,2007 The Matthew Shepard Act was introduced as federal bipartisan legislation in the United States Congress. Its purpose was to extend hate crimes to include gay and lesbian individuals, women, and people with disabilities. The bill passed the House of Representatives on May 3rd, 2007. Similar legislation is expected to pass in the Senate. President Bush has indicated, however, that he may veto the legislation if it reaches his desk.

I had the privilege to hear Matthew Shepard’s mother speak on a University Women’s Studies circuit not long after he was murdered. I was surprised to find the theatre packed with people who had come to respectfully hear what she had to say.

She spoke softly, yet deliberately. I was struck with her candidness, her authenticity, and her wisdom. It was clear that she was determined to use the untimely loss of her son to make a difference in the world.

She began by sharing with us the letter she had read to the jury before the two young men who tortured her son were sentenced to life imprisonment for Matthew’s murder. The letter’s intent was to present Matthew as a person who was deeply loved by his parents, his brother, other relatives, countless friends and his community. It mentioned the dreams he had for his life, his thoughtfulness and kindness, his passion to live life fully. The letter addressed her loss as his mother, and how this loss had transformed everything in her life.

Then she talked with moving compassion about the families of the two young abusers, whose lives were also devastated by their children’s actions. With much soul searching, Judy Shepard and her husband had chosen not to hate the individuals responsible for Matthew’s murder. They had come to the realization that if they hated these men, the hatred would perpetuate their grieving and produce the very same negativity that had fueled the young men’s actions. Then, they too, would be victimizers. Their courageous stance on this spared the men from the death sentence and instead they were sentenced to life imprisonment.

Following the letter, she continued her talk by sharing stories of Matthew’s “coming out.” Though her stories were filled with warmth and humor, her message was strong: Everyone must exercise their right to be who they are. We can’t expect people to accept us if we are ashamed to show who we are. This is the only way things will change. It is dangerous to continue to hide.

She challenged society’s part in creating a culture and climate that could allow such hate crimes. She reminded us that we, as Americans, were all victims of the hate crime known as 9/11. She emphasized that those who understand the destruction that can come from hating others must come forward and show all those who are stuck in fear-based thinking that it is NOT acceptable to hate.

Judy Shepard’s message challenged the current attitude, which she described as the old way of thinking. By her example, I could sense she was helping those of us in the audience see the world in a new way. She spoke of the potential that could be brought to the world if hating others was eliminated.

She posed the question of what might happen if every person felt free enough to be all they could be. She pondered about what would happen if we stopped projecting our fears onto women, the poor, gays, and people of color, different religions, and other countries? She challenged us to consider owning our part in creating human suffering. She wondered if owning our own hatred would instead give us the potential to manifest a world of global unity, care, support and love?

She went on to say that each time we judge someone who is different from us and treat them with hatred, we add to the collective darkness. Every time we do not allow ourselves to be out as who we are, we push our light into the shadows and give power to the collective darkness.

Judy Shepard’s commitment to educate people through her speaking engagements promotes a greater understanding of gay issues and crimes of violence. Being an inspiring woman who is living fully who she is and standing up to speak her truth, she goes far beyond her words and delivers an enormously empowering, light-bearing message.

Judy Shepard set up the Matthew Shepard Foundation. I highly recommend that you view it. The web page exudes love, inspiration, compassion and hope. It deserves to be read and shared with others to acknowledge all the positive things they are doing to promote awareness about the issues Matthew’s death brought to the attention of the world.

In remembering Matthew Shepard, it is imperative that we do not forget the importance his life and death has given us. We must remember the awareness his suffering has brought to everyone in the world. We must not become indifferent to the issues of giving people of diversity the same rights as every other human. Many people have expressed their creativity about Matthew’s murder and the issues that provoked it through art, songs, writing, plays and movies. Three films: The Laramie Project (based on a play by the same name), The Matthew Shepard Story, and Anatomy of a Hate Crime have given us a wealth of material to remember what we must not forget.

Our challenge is to live in a way that respects and does not harm others. We need to honestly examine any beliefs we have that might interfere with our living from a place of compassion and caring for all of life. Only then can we begin to change the current and prevalent acceptance of violence. We must start with understanding and expressing this through ourselves before it can move through the family, our nation and the world. Each of us has the ability and responsibility to participate in compassionate nonviolence.

We need to develop a more expansive perspective and look at things from other people’s points of view. What would it take to understand that we are all part of the same world? Just as in a family, when one part isn’t working or one group of people are suffering, it affects everyone. When something as dynamic as human rights is disabled in society we must each do our part to address the problems and find a solution. Each of us is part of the whole.

When there is a problem, everyone shares a common interest. The common denominator for all of us with hatred, hate crimes, and judgment of diversity is that we are all human. Every person on this planet has the potential and capability to engage in truth, not harm others with our thoughts or actions, and evolve toward an accepting world.

When we feel judgment and hatred, it is an opportunity to practice tolerance and develop inner strength. Progress starts with each one of us. Hatred and what it destroys can only change when we love life and those who are different from us with an open heart. Then, Matthew’s death will not have been in vain.