LESBIANS OF SIZE

My cousin, who is now a lesbian writer, has struggled with her weight since she was a little girl. She is two years younger than me, so I was very tuned into her when we were growing up. Her brother was 11 years older than her and by the time we were old enough to remember, he was receiving awards for his athleticism in high school, was highly popular (particularly with the girls) and was driving around in a convertible, like a prince in a chariot.

The more popular he became, the more our family encouraged traditional male values and his exploitation of them. That is when my cousin began to show signs of a life-long eating disorder. I remember clearly going to the Dairy Queen after family swimming outings and seeing how many hamburgers my cousin could eat. That started when she was 4 years old and continued until I graduated and left home.

It was obvious to me from an early age: women and men in our society have a different socialization process. From early childhood women are taught that their appearance is a crucial aspect of their lives while men are taught that their accomplishments are what counts. The end result of this impossible quest is that most women are unhappy with their bodies and suffer from negative body image.

Lesbians are a segment of the female population who have undergone the same socialization process as all women but have rejected traditional female values. By definition a lesbian is a woman whose primary ties are to other women. (Furgeson, A. 1981. Patriarchy, sexual identity and the sexual revolution. Signs 7 (1), 158-172) and she isn’t bound by the ideas of a patriarchal society.)

A lesbian resists male domination and through this resistance is able to escape the social and biological bindings from patriarchal society. Lesbians do not think of themselves as objects to be defined by males. So it would seem that lesbians ought to be able to escape from the negative body image and lack of self-acceptance that other women in our society suffer. And yet as the lesbian literature suggests (Kidwell, M. (1987). Fat at the forefront: Another feminist issue. Matrix 12 (2), 5.) even feminist lesbians, have bought the myths. Many lesbians suffer from body image disturbance and discriminate against heavy lesbians who do not fit the patriarchal standard of beauty.

All human beings develop a body image (mental representation of their body) that shapes their body concept and self-concept. Body and self-concept are related to each other and affect a person’s self esteem, especially for women. Historically a woman’s body concept and self-concept have been tied to the roles prescribed for her under the dominant, male, patriarchal culture and the enforcement of compulsory heterosexuality (Rich, A. (1980). Compulsory heterosexuality and lesbian existence. Signs, 5 (4), 631-660.) (Zita, J.N. (1981). Historical amnesia and the lesbian continuum. Signs, 7 (1) 172-187.)

Even though society views lesbians as different or nonexistent, (Addelson, K.P. (1981). Words and lives. Signs, 7 (1) 187-199.) lesbians tend to see ourselves as resistant to the patriarchy. We view lesbianism as the only way for women to gain control of our bodies. Lesbians, because of our erotic and emotional ties with women (Ferguson, A. (1985) Lesbian identity: Behavior and history. Women’s Studies International Forum, 8 (3), 203-208.) and relating sexually to other women’s bodies, have had the opportunity to come to love our own bodies.

Yet, when it comes to lesbians of size, those who do not fit the patriarchal, male standard of female attractiveness, the resistance against the traditional definition of women breaks down. An excellent analysis and anthology of writings by women of size is Shadow on a Tightrope, edited by L. Schoenfielder & B. Wieser, 1983 and Matrix, April 1987 issue.

The lesbian feminist movement influenced the raising of consciousness for these women by affirming a community of women that was safe for women of size. They were accepted for who they were and not ostracized because of their appearance. Lesbian communities make a safe haven for women of size because they have given up male values of “acceptable standards of sexual attractiveness”. (Lepoff L.A. (1983) Fat politics. In L. Schoenfielder & B. Wieser (Eds.), (pp. 204-209). Iowa City; Aunt Lute Book Co.)

The emphasis for lesbians has been on becoming allies to women of size, being sensitive to fat oppression, and loving and supporting their friends without trying to get them to change. Through opening their hearts and minds, lesbians are encouraging women of size to accept themselves.

As feminist lesbians work more on breaking free from the patriarchal prescription of one body image for women, both individually and within lesbian communities, it will be interesting to see what happens to lesbian’ body concept and self concept.

The lesbian feminist community is beginning to attack the patriarchal oppression of women through body image in the same way it has attacked the oppression of women through rigid, traditional roles. It is a difficult struggle, for even though lesbians have rejected the assumption that a woman’s purpose in life is to attract a man, they have still been socialized to attempt to mold their bodies to fit man’s image of woman. Hopefully, as the struggle continues, the statement “not in man’s image” will be completely true for lesbians.