BEST-KEPT SECRET

“Thus far, women have been the mere echoes of men. Our laws and constitutions, our creeds and codes, and the customs of social life are all of masculine origin. The true woman is as yet a dream of the future." --Elizabeth Cady Stanton 1848

Women in many cultures have experienced treatment that is oppressive and wounding. For centuries the abuse of women has been so insidious that it has gone on without question. To this day, attitudes and behaviors that devalue women around the world continue to find their way into societies, cultures, religions, morals, politics and other occurrences concerning gender inequalities and equal rights for women.

This oppression, which seems to be perpetuated in our unconscious, unknowing, or collectively accepted beliefs dominate the way we experience ourselves and the world. Any violation of a woman’s self, whether the violation is emotional, psychic, spiritual or physical and regardless of who or what the agent of the violation is constitutes abuse.

Many of us have been sexually, emotionally or physically abused as children and adults. Astonishing numbers of women have found themselves in abusive relationships, sexual jeopardy, or being minimized or harassed. Women can easily name times they have been treated with disrespect, weak or “less than”. Why then, do we collude with the abuse of women? It seems to be civilizations best-kept secret.

The abuse that arises from the collectives' perspective of women can be covert or overt. One woman might be battered or raped while another controlled by not being allowed to manage their own money, time, or friendships. Why do we not recognize the truth of these situations? In our silence, we agree to keep the secret.

There have been women in our history have paved the way for breaking the silence. They found the courage to stand up to the ways women were more intellectually limited, culturally deprived, socially dis-empowered, geographically restricted and economically dependent than men. Through their efforts, the veil began to lift.

Their dedication to changing the pattern of women's oppression influenced aspects of society from culture to law. They addressed women’s right of contract and property, women’s right to bodily integrity, autonomy of choice regarding reproductive rights such as abortion and contraception, protection from domestic violence, sexual harassment and rape, workplace rights including maternity leave and equal pay, and infringements against other forms of discrimination.

Some believe the movement to stop the discrimination of women occurred in three waves of feminism. The first wave of women fighting for these rights was in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. At first they focused on absolute rights such as, equal rights of contract and property and opposition to ownership of women and their children by husbands. By the end of the nineteenth century the feminist focus was on gaining political power. Issues in the forefront were women’s suffrage and active campaigning for women’s sexual, reproductive and economic rights.

In the United States, leaders of this movement included Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, who each campaigned for the abolition of slavery prior to championing women’s right to vote. Their leadership ignited many other women to become involved in this movement. This first wave of feminism in the United States is considered to have ended with the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution granting women the right to vote August 26, 1920 .

The second wave of feminism was in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Women saw cultural and political inequalities as linked. They were encouraged to acknowledge aspects of their own personal lives as deeply politicized and reflective of a sexist structure of power. Their primary concerns were issues of inequality and the end of the discrimination of women. The ways women had been living became unacceptable and with a burst of collective awareness, things began to change.

The new wave of feminism that began in the ‘60s was very threatening to the old system. Despite this, women in large numbers banned together to heal their wounds, fight for their rights, and create lives for themselves that did not collude with abuse.

Women came together to collectively address their needs. They formed self-help groups, consciousness rising groups, book groups, and professional and associational support groups. Safe houses and rape crises hot lines gave many women places to find their voices and finally receive support from the horrific abuse that was previously not even believed. Events that promoted women’s culture, historical archives, and introducing women’s studies within education were other ways women came together to further their stand.

Women’s literature and other media as well as feminist literary criticism spoke up about abuse and the discrimination of women. In these works women’s personal stories of abuse and male domination were told. Women from the first wave had also spoken in their way anonymously, but contemporary women began an visible, honest, and prolific portrayal.

This movement began to reap the rewards of allowing women to search to know themselves, heal themselves, claim their inheritances and live fully in the world. Women's tremendous courage during this wave cracked open the silence that had shrouded abuse for generations.

The third wave of feminism began in the early 1990’s and continues today. This movement deals with a response to the perceived failures of the second wave. Issues of race and cultural discrimination are primary concerns. A post-structuralist interpretation of gender and sexuality is central to this wave. There is also a growing awareness of the differences between the sexes, which has led to further advances and changes in our thinking.

Women from many disciplines have contributed to the Women’s Movements. Feminist historians have followed the inequities and basis of discrimination of abuse within patriarchal societies. Feminist social scientists have exposed the ways sociocultural abuse works and its consequences among different groups within society.

Feminist psychologists have found ways that individual women have been wounded by society. Their work has pointed out that gender inequality comes from early childhood experiences. They have also addressed beliefs about stereotyping men to be masculine and women as feminine and how this has translated into men being seen and treated as powerful and women weak. This gender viewpoint has led to a social system dominated by males which has strongly influenced our psycho-sexual development. Feminist psychologists have shifted the emphasis from sexual difference to gender and this has greatly influenced feminist theory and psychology.

Feminist theologians have sought for a way for women to live a fulfilling spiritual life. Religion has perpetuated the abuse of women by separating them from their most sacred beliefs. The dominance of men and submission of women and children extends to the worship of male deities. This discrimination has gone so far as to exclude women from participating as leaders in the Church. Women’s connection to spirit has been cast apart, which has furthered a break with their relationship this central aspect of their lives.

Feminist literary theory before the 1970’s was concerned with the politics of women’s authorship and the representation of women’s condition within literature. Since the arrival of more complex conceptions of gender and subjectivity, feminist literary criticism has taken a variety of new routes.

As women have told their truth and stories, the world has not been the same. We have come to understand the lies we were being told about our lives, our families and our society. Our abusers turned out to be the very people and institutions that were supposed to have had our best interests at heart and protect us.

Telling the truth about our victimization and being aware of our collusion with it is empowering us. Stopping the isolation and realizing that others share our abuse is expanding and changing our perceptions and opening up possibilities for further healing. As we recognize this shared experience we are able to face the ways we have internalized our own oppression.

Our subordinate, sexually stereotyped role in society is slowly changing. The abusive atrocities women around the world are suffering is being brought into our collective awareness. In order to continue the work of the many women who have pioneered our rights before us, we must diligently pay attention and keep conscious of the many messages and behaviors of the discrimination of women that are still present in our world today. We must stay awake and break the silence about civilizations best- kept secret.